Inner Passion

Some people are born in the light while some first saw darkness. While people use light to reach their destination, some people grope in the dark, looking for that beacon; to find reason for their mere existence.

Darkness sows fear. The shadows inspire weakness. And the weary traveller latches on the next mortal, sucking them dry like a vampire to its prey.

But the beacon has never been hidden behind the far horizon. It is secreted within the soul. We call this passion.

When given the right amount of time and nurture, the passion inside will burst into life, dispelling the darkness within.

This time, fear no longer holds power. Shadows reveal fellow travellers.

Hold on to that passion, then and do not lose it. Once it has taken root, one does not have to justify his existence. We only have to live the life we are gifted with.

Getting Out of Hand(s)

Things are stressful lately (or as always). For one, the second semester is ending. Exams are to be handed out. Later on, grades will be computed and requirements are to be accomplished for clearance signing.

In addition to that, I need to finish my thesis in time for my  defense in March so I can finally be over and done with this one hurdle in my academic life – my Master’s degree. Perhaps, by then, I can focus on the rest of my life.

Amidst all these deadlines and must-do’s, one can be overwhelmed to the point of breaking down. Fortunately, I got friends who are there to reassure me and ease my high-strung mind. Another ace on my sleeve is my doodling on paper. Lately, I have been sketching hands.

These sketches remind me of what I have learned about letting go; a lesson I keep on repeating like a mantra and hopefully it will be ingrained on me as I lead a less stringent life. (I used a semi-colon, Jack.)

The lesson appears simple but often overlooked especially when one just wants structure; that I can control my life and I am not at the mercy of fate. If chaos reigns, I only have to sort the things I can change from those that I cannot,and let  to go of those things I have no control with and hold on to those that truly matter.

A Summer Rash

Most people believe that summer begins in March or April. But my body begs to disagree. The reappearance of my prickly heat is the harbinger of  hotter days and warmer nights.

Like Christmas, summer has not been my favorite time of the year. For one, school is out so I didn’t have friends to hang out with. I don’t have neighborhood buddies back then (but come to think of it, even now. He he he). Most of the summer days, I played with my nephews and nieces and we ended up fighting.
It didn’t help that I don’t have a job during summer. Plus, this stubborn rashes just keep on visiting me.

However, in a tete`-a-tete´ with one of my students, I realized that the stigma of a particular period in life can be removed by associating them with happy memories.

In my case, I have to affirm that not all my summers were dreary and spent on a tight budget or isolation. At some point, I created precious memories that could bring a smile to my face.

With this thought, heartwarming memories started to string out of my mind just like how Dumbledore magicked his memories into the pensieve or in a vial.

An unexpected back-packing vacation, helping Jotay practice his photography, meeting other artists, shopping for swimwear with Ising and posing in that particular swimwear, sending a birthday card to my crush while meeting a new crush, crossing the sea in a small boat, and going camping under the rain are just a few.

Why did I forget these memories?

Most of the time, I concerned myself with the sad events that took place afterwards. But that is not the point of the exercise. I should look back to these memories oftentimes and savor the light feeling these bring me. Once this happens, I can now bathe myself in the warmth of the summer.

Among these memories, which stood out?

Well, not the birthday card I sent to a boy, signed as Secret Admirer but the memory of lying on the sand, listening to the surf as the water kissed the beach, and looking at the star-laden velvety black sky. It was pure itch-free bliss.