Sunday, May 13, 2012

I Couldn't Be Her

I am my Mama's girl.

Being her only girl, it is understandable why she kept me close to her side. She was even my playmate, in the absence of neighborhood kids.

While growing up, daughters look up to their mothers. They tried on their mother's clothes, make ups, and shoes. We try to copy our mother's looks. I used to do that myself.

Mama's scarfLike for example, this bandanna I drew two years ago. When we travelled long distances before, Mama wore  this to hold her hair. She said, it kept the dust away and you won't bother your seatmate in the bus with a strand straying to their eyes. With no extra fuss, she wrapped it around her head like how Granny Goose does. It looks fine with her. I decided that when I grew up, I would wear one of her silk bandannas.

My first job had me leave home at six in the morning and noticeably, my migraine attacks were becoming frequent. People around surmised that cold early morning air had gone inside my head (I know, it seems illogical but let's leave it at that) while I travel for work. Mama offered me her silk bandanna to protect my head from cold. Funny thing is, when I wore it, I looked like...well...Granny Goose (and though I am a fan of Granny Goose snack foods, I don't want to like her). Carefully, so as not to hurt her feelings, I refused my mother's offer.

Now as a grown-up, I realized that as much as I'd like to, I could never be like my Mama. I couldn't be as patient as her, or as meek. Not because I don't want to be like her but because we come from a different set of experiences at different times. We were two distinct individuals.

The bond that linked me to her for nine months, though severed physically, will continue to hold us together. This will help us transcend our differences. For the rest of my life, I will be her daughter who at times can drive her crazy and she, my mother, who will offer the second mystery of the rosary for my safety and success.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

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