Tension

My friend, Jonah, visited me last summer. She stayed here in Cebu for a week and we had the chance to catch up. She commissioned me for a painting, like the first one I sold. Given her time schedule, I told her I can't make one at the drop of a hat. I promised her next time she visits, I would make one for her. 

When she returned to Canada, Jonah told me her friend is going home to Cebu and would be back in August. If my schedule allows, she commissioned me for a female nude painting as a surprise for her girlfriend. 

Jonah has been one of my few friends since high school. I couldn't really say no to her. June came, I racked my brains for inspiration while arranging the transfer of my parents back to Gensan. July was ushered in, the inspiration still eluded me. When July was about to end, and news from home start to become ominous, adrenaline kicked in.

Tension

I delivered this piece to Jonah's friend, an hour before she headed to the airport. Two days later, Jonah gave this to the special woman in her life. This was received with love and fondness. 

As for me, this is my first painting to cross the Canadian border.

Good-bye, Daddy

My parents lived in Bohol for almost 8 years and I took this sunrise image only last June. A week later, they moved back to GenSan. Another week later, my father was hospitalized. Thereon, his health started to deteriorate and he expelled his last breath last September 9.

It was painful to watch my Daddy suffered and died due to kidney failure. He had been a robust person, always moving. When my parents lived in Bohol, Daddy did most of Mama's daily works, just so her osteoarthritis won't be aggravated. On his last weeks, we each had to lift him to eat or drink. I had to give him his bedbath.

Each of us in the family has taken solace on the fact that Dad won't suffer anymore and he is already resting in peace. 

Daddy and I are not particularly close. I am more of a Mama's girl. We have very few memories together. I remember him teaching me how to hunt for birds and how banks earn their profit. However, there is one memory that stands out right now. 

Daddy was with me when I shot the image above. We were out buying crabs from fishermen in the island. In hindsight, the sunrise looked ominous, a portent of what will happen the following weeks. But I don't want to dwell on that. 

For me, this was the first (and sadly, the last) sunrise I shared with my Daddy.

Moving Forward

The last few weeks have been about moving forward. My parents had decided to settle back in GenSan. I finally broke my stubbornness and have decided to live my life without a human crutch.

It's time to look at life with a fresh perspective.

This time, my life will be grounded in reality. My depression will still recur. Nightmares will still haunt my sleep. Torrents of unwelcome news will still land on my feet. There will be bad days. But I know I will be able to take them in stride.

The past years have taught me one valuable lesson and that, we all walk in life alone. It doesn't mean we don't have a loving family or supportive friends. We all have, one way or another. But like any periodical exam, we have to stand against our demons alone. That way, we can fully fathom the extent of our courage and strength.